I find, so many people talk about wanting relationships, but like the epitome of self-sabotage, Molly, from Insecure on HBO, we’re worried about all the wrong things and blaming it on everyone else. We see her aimlessly chasing relationships based on status, meanwhile the guy that is into her without the degree, gets major shade. AND she’s a clinger ladies and gentleman so she probably could have found love with some of the “prestigious” guys too but anyway *eye-roll* I am a self-professed Twitter rat and so I saw some things sliding across my timeline that I was like hold up, let’s talk about this.
Successful relationships take two, willing participants, period. This is what I know. I know that no matter how much I am learning about how to be a better woman, my husband also needs to be learning what it takes to be a better man. So often, these relationships are one-sided, and it’s time we stop fooling ourselves into thinking someone is as invested in us as we are in them, when they’ve made it clear that they are not. Have you ever heard the saying “trying to fit a square peg in a round hole?” That’s what it sounds like when I hear people talk about relationships that clearly they are the only one in.
Self-care has been this huge buzzword lately. But like anything that gains social buzz, it’s important to define what it actually means and sift through all the hi-jacked gurus that reason they are an expert on the subject. I am not now nor have I ever claimed to be an expert on anything really, but in our last Dear Love Brunch where we discussed Settling vs. Compromise, it seemed to be an underlying topic that needed to be brought to the forefront.
Love is something that so many of us say that we want. I’m talking intimate relationships here. We’re in the weirdest space where love seems hard to find so many people kind of shrug it off. Yet, deep down they still really desire it. I guess in the words of Kev Carr, love is still very relevant. Whether it seems like it is easily obtainable in today’s dating pool or not, a key factor in really allowing yourself to receive love is to be open to it.
It surprised me how completely unaware we can be about the atmosphere that we create. The other day, I was talking to my mother about how comfortable my 20-year-old niece is talking to her. She confides in her and I see that. One of the conclusions that we came to in that conversation is that so many people feel comfortable talking to my mother because they rarely feel judged. I guess often, they feel they are getting an objective opinion and it causes them to open up. This got me thinking about the importance of creating a loving space in our relationships for our loved ones to feel comfortable.
Okay, so Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and it’s supposed to be this day that represents love that couldn’t be more generic. LOL. Do I sound like a fan or nah? In either case, I am not really big on Valentine’s Day. I think it’s cool whenever anything is a cause to spend some quality time with the one that you love, but the ugly baskets lining street corners and annoyingly pink everything can be a bit much for me. And I am NOT knocking you if you love it. Says the love advocate even though at the moment I just sound like a hater! Ha! So I wanted to do something a little different for this week’s Dear Love post as we head into V-Day.
We are emotional beings. Often times our relationships are where they fly at an all-time high. And if you have been in the love game any amount of time, you know that a bunch of emotions swirling between two people can create the perfect storm. Sometimes causing irreversible damage. So we should try by all means to avoid the scenarios that we can’t take back.
Love is dope. I don’t feel like we say it enough. Although I have heard people say they feel like they are inundated with people in love, I feel it’s the opposite. All day, every day on my timelines, I see a lot of negativity surrounding love. But I want to be the one to make it clear that love is one of the dopest things that we will experience in this life!