The older I get, the more I am coming to accept certain things about myself. One of them being that I often have a tough time making definitive decisions. Don’t give me a ton of options, because I may take 20 years to decide. Whether it’s the color of paint, what ice cream I want or any of the more serious things you have to choose in life, often times I can’t commit. But the key to giving up wishy washy ways, is giving up the fear of making the wrong choice.
Ultimately, my indecisiveness is based on an irrational fear of choosing the wrong thing. Will I regret my decision? Or what often happens to me is that someone else will have a whole dissertation about why one thing is better and I then start to rethink my original decision. The bottom line is somewhere along the way, I missed the bravado gene of learning how to just be right in my wrongs.
So many people in my own life just think or believe what they believe and they could care less about the facts that you present opposing their opinion. They just ride with it. Call it a sense of stubbornness I guess, but I think a bit of stubbornness may be a little healthy. Confidence in your beliefs and in your decisions goes along way. It reminds me of the saying “stand for something or fall for anything.” And there have honestly been moments in my life where I felt I wasn’t really sure where I stood on certain issues and the best argument won the loyalty of my opinion.
But we live in a world full of persuasive and downright manipulative people, media, advertisers and more, so it really becomes important to know what you want. And I’m learning that it’s completely okay to say, yes at the time I thought this, but I now think something else. For instance, my faith. There are lots of people who knew me at a time in my life where I could have cared less about going to church and connecting with God. But I am now in a completely different space. I changed my mind and I don’t have to feel any guilt or shame for that.
Not even Jesus wanted to deal with people that were lukewarm. He appreciated you either being hot or cold in your love for him. But there was something dangerous about those who tightrope the middle. Because honestly, they can tend to go either way the wind blows. I didn’t want that to be me.
As I continue to grow as a woman, I am putting into place what is negotiable and what is non-negotiable in my life in general. Most often we hear that in reference to relationships, but I believe in all areas of our lives it just helps to know what we stand for. And it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be open-minded, but we should have a solid foundation even when considering other trains of thought and ways of life. Embrace the fact that your thoughts may change, but you don’t have to be ashamed of who you are in this present day.
It’s the fluidity of life, knowing that you may make some great decisions and not so great ones but it’s all a part of the process, the growing pains, and living real life and that’s okay.
Do you find some decisions really hard to make? Like what? Let’s talk about it in the comments. What holds you back from making definite decisions in your life?