Journey of a NB | For the Timid Believer

For the Timid Believer

I used to be afraid to stand up during praise and worship at church. It felt uncomfortable. I was so focused in on the perception from those around me instead of actually focusing on God during the time that prepares you to receive the word of God. I also hated turning to books in my Bible. Again, I thought that other people would notice that I didn’t know exactly where to turn or what order the books were in. What I have learned is that NONE of that is important and it’s all of the silly excuses that we will make for ourselves not to enter into the house of God.

I am a firm believer that our faith has to show itself much more than once a week in church on Sunday. But we tend to find all types of things to discourage us from this sacred opportunity to sit in God’s presence. First and foremost, I don’t know what the churches are like that you go to, but I had to realize that no one at my church was thinking about me THAT much. Lol. How self-centered to think that I was so special that people were paying close enough attention to me to see if I knew exactly where to turn in the Bible.  Doesn’t that sound ridiculous when you read it?

In either case, as I continued to grow in my faith, I realized that the fear and timorous behavior that I had was slowly beginning to dissipate. The more you get to know God, the more you experience in your relationship with Him, you will want to stand on Sunday mornings and give Him praise. You will understand why the older saints begin to dance and get happy. It’s easy to be shy about God when you don’t really know Him. I realize that in the beginning, I was still trying to feel it all out.

I know Him for myself now years later. Not from what my mother or grandmother has told me about God or from anything that I have seen on television. I know the gratefulness that I feel when I think about how he loved me before I even knew to acknowledge his guidance and protection. I know how he kept me when I found a lump in my breast and had no idea what the future held for me. I know how he has provided in times where I had no idea how all the ends were going to meet. And that my friend is enough to make me jump into a praise break right in the middle of writing this article.

Click to Tweet/// I know the gratefulness that I feel when I think about how he loved me before I even knew to acknowledge his guidance.

A pivotal point in turning around my boldness in the word of God was also being filled with the Holy Spirit and being baptized. I know for a lot of us, the Holy Spirit can seem really spooky. And we want to just be surface Christians that watch a few TV ministers and feel like that is enough for our salvation. But I assure you that you’re missing an important step. Jesus explained that he would send the Holy Spirit to be with believers once he was gone. (John 16:7) The Holy Spirit comforts, convicts and importantly serves in our communication with God. The Holy Spirit is with us, just like Jesus was with the disciples and with that what should we fear or be timid about?

Click to Tweet/// The Holy Spirit comforts, convicts and importantly serves in our communication with God.

It makes me think of the Kirk Franklin song that has the lines “Someone asked the question, why do we sing, when we lift our hands to Jesus, what do we really mean?” I didn’t know at that time when I was young and God was just something older people talked about. But I know now. I know that there are moments when I want to cry out because I feel His love so deeply. I know that there are times when I am in His presence and I receive revelation about something that has been plaguing me for months. I know that when it comes to the decision of whether I will talk about God on my blog that I have no choice because He is the biggest part of my life.

I want to encourage you that though you may be timid in your faith now, God has begun a work in you that He will finish. Continue getting to know Him. Continue telling Him how much you love Him and allowing your life to be an example in this world and you will also know the boldness that comes with being in true relationship with Him. I have had numerous conversations with writers and bloggers and sometimes outside business people and they have said they admire that I can incorporate God into what I do. My question to them is always “How can’t you?” Listen, I am not here to beat you over the head with why you should love God. But when I am telling you about my experience, about the woman that I am becoming, about the business woman I am and the wife that I am about to become, those things cannot stand without talking about how God’s love has changed me forever. I can’t separate it because every day I wake up and say, God be with me in EVERYTHING that I do.

Click to Tweet/// God has begun a work in you that He will finish.

Though this may have started as a timid journey, I will shout until I am blue in the face that life, love, and work is better if you know God. I will lift my hands, I will lift my voice and I may even oddly ask to pray with you. I am who I am and God is who He is in my life.

Have you ever let your lack of knowledge in Christianity deter you from attending church? Or felt nervous about it? How did you overcome your timid spirit? Or are you still working to conquer it?

Scriptures to Reference:

Nevertheless, I tell you the truth; it is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you. John 16:7

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power; and of love; and of a sound mind. 1 Timothy 1:7

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

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