Last year, I found the productivity matrix. I was working the job, then working after the job and almost forgot about having a life, a husband, and anything else in between. Everyone online had been telling me that the only reason I wasn’t where I wanted to be was because of me and I simply couldn’t let that be the case.
I was falling apart at the end of last year. I was busy at my work hustle, behind on my full-time dream, and trying to buy a house. There was a lot going on, to say the least. So, coming into the New Year, I felt completely drained and needed to make my sanity the first priority. In that, I decided that I needed to do less, in a more impactful way.
I was urged to query agents before publishing my first book myself. I didn’t think it was possible, but when you talk to someone you respect and they think it’s possible, you follow suit. I researched agents of some of the books I thought were in the same vein. I read the submission guidelines to see how they varied from company to company. I wrote the proposal and fired a few off in hopes that I might hear something and one day be led to that shiny publishing deal so many of us as writers dream of.
What some of you may not know about me is that my journey in blogging honestly started from my work in the music industry. I know, weird right? But let me explain. I started college as a journalism major but decided that news sucked and I wanted to write about something more exciting, cue songwriting. Lol. I just randomly decided that I wanted to write songs and so I switched schools and majors to Broadcast, Telecommunications, and Mass Media which somehow held a music industry track and the rest was history. Why I am no longer in hot pursuit of a songwriting career is because at some point you come to a crossroads where you have to either get better or quit.
I feel everything. It’s part of the reason that I shield myself from indulging in the news or too much of woke Twitter. I literally can’t take it. Some of us feel everything. Every part of the anguish, the frustration, and devastation that this world has to offer. Remember the film adapted from the book “The Secret Life of Bees?” May Boatwright was the youngest sister that was so burdened by the traumas of the world that it eventually led to her death. In that light, it may seem like empathy is crippling, but I believe as writers, it’s our superpower.
I’d like to at some point feel like the CEO of my life. Is that too much to ask? Is there ever a point where it feels like you are in control of something and not feeling completely inadequate from day to day? I mean you beast your to-do list but realize you neglected your family. You spend time with family and then realize you neglected your chores. Are there people in this world who feel like they run their lives efficiently in peace? Or have others simply learned how to not be great at everything all at once and move on from it?
Sometimes you don’t even realize the importance of the things that you’re investing in. You could think that it’s one thing and find out it’s something completely different. This past weekend, I had the opportunity to share a Content Talk with two of my faves in the digital space, but I got a lot more than a speaking engagement out of the deal. It’s important to realize the importance of investing in people.