Reyel was referred to me by a member of my mastermind group and I am so grateful for the connection. I love that Reyel has turned her own experience into the power to help others. Through her Twitter account, she talks all about self-care as it pertains to love, highlighting that when we do not take care of ourselves, we are no good to others. I so enjoyed our candid conversation communication and killing self-pride. Reyel dropped numerous gems along the way so be sure to take some notes!
I love the website Mater Mea which talks all about the intersection of career and motherhood. I first stumbled upon it after seeing an interview with writer and maker, Alex Elle. I was amazed by beautiful images that showcased women of color in this sensitive way that you just don’t see too often. So I reached out to Anthonia Akitunde, the founder, initially thinking she was a mother herself! HA! To talk all about familial love ... Though she is not yet a mom, she is engaged and about to embark on the beautiful journey of marriage with her fiance and we got the opportunity to talk all about her pending nuptials and her experience in getting to a healthier definition of love in her own life.
I never set out to write about love. If you know my story, you know that my first book, Dear Love, was only about love based on notes I was writing on Instagram. There are enough relationship experts right? I mean some of them even give relationship advice without successful relationships. But I digress. It all started because of how much I was learning about God’s love for me. That was the starting point and it started to ooze into every part of how I related to others as well.
Love is not ownership. The moment that we try to control other people with our love, we lose. I always reference God as our greatest example of love. He is love to me. But he never tries to manipulate us with it. He gives it to us freely and repeatedly even in the moments when we are failing to be lovable. The freedom in that provides us with a deep love of God that can’t even be fathomed. The fact that he loves us in spite of ourselves. We need to understand the importance of loving one another without the need to control and without judgment.
Monthly I participate in a Mastermind Call with some of the most phenomenal women that I have met on the interwebs. Getting close to a year in, it has already yielded some amazing results not just in things that we have accomplished but in the sense of community and support it has created. Many, if not all of us are writers, and this idea of self-publishing came up in which one of the women said something that we all had to nod profusely to. “I am not a self-published author but an author that’s self-published.”
Love is dope. I don’t feel like we say it enough. Although I have heard people say they feel like they are inundated with people in love, I feel it’s the opposite. All day, every day on my timelines, I see a lot of negativity surrounding love. But I want to be the one to make it clear that love is one of the dopest things that we will experience in this life!
It’s inevitable that sometimes you and your partner simply won’t see eye to eye. Sometimes it won’t even be a particular topic, but you’ll just be in completely different moods, one’s up, one’s down, etc. But I am learning that our pettiness is what will turn a simple disagreement or slightly uncomfortable interaction into something much bigger than it has to be.
I was having a conversation with my parents about relationships. As I felt my father hammering home the fact that people just need to be happy over and over again, I tilted my head to the side, thought a little and then blurted out, “That’s a crock!” Hear me out, because he probably looked at me the same exact way you are as you read this. But as I listened to my father talk about how important it is to be happy and that people have to do what makes them happy, I thought to myself, “What happens in relationships when you’re not happy?” Is it over then? Is it over at the moment you are unhappy or is there a certain allotted amount of unhappy before you’re privileged to move on? The idea that you have to be so obsessed with your “happiness” in a relationship made me realize that “happy” is so self-serving.