Dear Love | What If I Just Loved You

What if I just loved you?

Unconditional. Most people doubt that there is such a thing as unconditional love. I mean, we are normally full of conditions. If you buy me this I’ll love you. If you keep a job I’ll love you. If you maintain your figure I’ll love you. But that really is not how love is supposed to go. Love is spiritual. Yet we make it so carnal. God instructed us to love one another, it was the greatest of all the instruction. He didn’t tell us that people had to earn it or work for it either, just that we should give it freely as his love is for us. So I thought to myself recently in my own relationship, what if I just loved you?

Click to Tweet///Love is spiritual. Yet we make it so carnal. 

Listen, things get tough pass the honey moon phase, but we all know if you’ve been keeping up that you can survive the butterflies. But that doesn’t mean that there won’t be trials. My significant other and I have been together for about 5 years now and life happens in relationships! It really takes some time to actually get to know someone. I mean really know their ins and outs. What makes them tick, what holds them back, the things they’re passionate about and more. Making life work with another person can indeed be a challenge.

We get so hung up on the little things. They didn’t do this, they forgot the date we told them, they didn’t think of dinner. But again, what if we just loved them? So many of us are fault finders and complainers. Let me tell you, Joyce Meyer got my whole life together in this area in her book "Battlefield of the Mind." But I honestly think we would find such a peace and an enjoyment in relationships if we learned how to just love each other without trying to control. This is true in both romantic and non-romantic relationships. Sometimes we cannot even actualize the fullness of love and enjoy another person because we are so set on trying to get them to be something that fits in a nice neat little bow in our life and that’s just not the way this thing works.

Click to Tweet///We would find more peace in relationships if we learned how to just love each other without trying to control. 

Now this of course doesn’t mean putting up with craziness. You know me well enough by now to know that I will never advocate for that. But what I am saying is play a little of Bey’s “Flaws and All” and get over yourself because as much as you think you are putting up with, people have to put up with you too! Your stink breath in the morning, your constant complaints about the job you hate, your attitude when it’s that time of the month, should I go on? The reality is, we all have our quirks. None of us are the perfect girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, or daughter. People have to love us in spite of ourselves as well. So it’s not just a one way street.

So what does just loving each other actually look like? Well it involves letting go of our judgments. Sometimes because people have made certain decisions in their life we withhold love from them. Most often when they probably need to be loved the most. It also involves not trying to control people. I don’t know about you, but I notice this is an issue for a lot of people I know. We think that everything we do is right and God’s gift and that everyone else should think, walk, and act like us. Whelp that is simply a silly way to think! What we all should be striving for are God’s ways. Not our own. Remember there is a way that seems right to us and it leads to death.  So your way is not as wonderful as you think. Let people be themselves and put your ego aside and show them mercy and love. Loving someone anyway means letting go of pettiness, criticism, back biting and the inability to forgive.

Does that mean every person you love has to be a close friend? Or that every relationship will work because you just blindly love someone who doesn’t reciprocate? No. You will always hear me say that you may not choose who you love, but you can still choose how you love them. Sometimes we have to love people from afar – that is understood. But what I am really talking about is our uncompromising attitudes towards the people we say that we love. Yes it is so much easier to be by yourself and live your own way and do your own thing, but the reality is, in this world there are other people. And we have to learn how to love one another truly. And to do that we have to constantly “die to flesh” and really get God’s help in loving others the way that we ourselves want to be loved. Imagine if God magnified and dwelled on all your flaws in deeming whether you were worthy of love. Yeah, I’m glad I serve a God that doesn’t judge me in that way and I am working hard to let go of my judgments of others.

Heart Check:

Honestly, have you ever thought to yourself, “If they would just do everything my way the world would be a better place?” Do you find yourself in conflict in relationships because of your need to control?