I guess you could say, “In that Order,” from the wise Mama Dee. Ha! But really, this has been one of my most important life lessons. I included this in Dear Love and it remains an important concept. When we get in order, so much more of life flows seamlessly. It’s in the times where I am completely out of order that I feel frantic, chaotic, angry, and sometimes afraid. In the quest of learning to love, the order is God, yourself, and others.
Recently I finished Lisa Bevere’s “The True Measure of a Woman.” A phenomenal book you guys! I started it some time ago with a friend and decided to re-visit and finish it up. I first started it at such an important time. I was looking for my identity in a lot of different things except for in Christ at the time. But she talked about the importance of this order, “God, myself, others,” in regard to self-love.
So often we are told to love ourselves first, but we don’t even really know how to love ourselves until we understand what God really thinks about us. I definitely had a hard time with this when first coming to Christ. I was having such a hard time forgiving myself for things that I had done. It was so difficult for me to get a revelation of how much God truly loved me. But when I did, it changed everything and it honestly felt like a weight had been lifted!
I want to share an excerpt from Lisa’s book because she speaks so well about how most of us get it backwards when it comes to this order.
For so long we have had it backward. We have tried to love ourselves so we could love our neighbors. We have tried to love our neighbors when we didn’t love ourselves. But God is calling us to love him so we can love our neighbors and ourselves.
If we spend ourselves loving on ourselves, we will become the focus. Self-love is always a work of the flesh and an exercise in frustration and futility. We will always find fault in ourselves. We will find inequity, disappointment, imperfection in ourselves. We can study our past and study ourselves and still not find any true answers.
If we spend ourselves trying to love others, they will become our focus. We will soon see their flaws and imperfections. People will fail and disappoint us. They will break promises and reject and betray us. Even if all relationships remain perfect, we can love our husbands and our children and still not love God.
God wants us to love him.
Lisa Bevere, The True Measure of a Woman
It starts with God. When we learn to love on Him, all else falls into place. When you really meditate on what God thinks about you, you will never want to hate yourself. You will not think lowly of yourself. You will accept that even with your flaws God crafted you. He knew you while still in your mother’s womb. You are God’s creation. To know that, to feel that, will help you along the way in the process of loving yourself. As my Pastor often says, “God knows us and He loves us anyway!”
It also makes me think of seeking the kingdom first and knowing that all things will be added to your life. Chasing after God is one of the best things that you can do. Everything falls into place after that including our relationship with ourselves and our relationships with others, which can often a big source of frustration and strife in our lives. We put so much stock in other people. In our boyfriends or girlfriends, our bosses, our family and the list goes on. Our faith and our trust should be in God. Yes he works through people, but in their own strength, they can do nothing for you but disappoint.
Every house has an order. This is an important step in really being able to revel in the goodness of God. When we know, honestly and truly know His love for us, we will walk a little differently, talk a little differently and go about life a little differently. We must constantly remind ourselves of who and whose we are. Not in the worldly definition of who we are, but the true measure of ourselves in Christ.
Scriptures to Reference:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the Prophets hand on these two commandments. Matthew 22:37-40
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
For I am convinced that neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Have you been trying to find your worth or true measure in things outside of the word of God?
Have you put yourself or others before God?
Have you received a true revelation of how much God loves you?