I said no to an engagement and gave no explanation or reason behind why I didn’t want to go and it felt good. I wouldn’t say that I am a people pleaser, but I am definitely a “people close to me pleaser.” I like to feel like I’m there for close family and friends and even if I am dreading something with all my being, I will go anyway just to receive my “Good Family Member” gold star. But I am telling you that it felt so amazing deciding to choose me first. I am getting more and more comfortable with the word, no or better yet and more politely no thank you.
We are the hustle and bustle generation. We want to be at every event and it’s important to be seen and we’re always busy and yadda, yadda, yadda. But I think it’s bigger than FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). It’s like fear that if one day you focus on yourself or your family, you will fail indefinitely in life. We’re afraid to say, “No, I can’t do that because I would absolutely love a day to myself without thinking about a darn thing.” I mean seriously, have you ever felt a dark cloud of guilt because you were sitting on the couch binge watching your favorite show?
If you won’t admit it, I will. There have been times when I just want to relax and do nothing but all I can think of are my peers up at their laptops, diabolically planning to take over the world. It makes me uneasy and it makes me feel like I will never be successful in life because real winners don’t take breaks. And it’s RIDICULOUS! Lol. When you read about the habits and traits of the most successful people it’s not necessarily about working 80 hour weeks. Sure some people do that, but they may in fact be dead by 55. But most of it is really learning how to better maximize the time that you do have.
So, it’s about setting 30 minute timers when I need to write so that I will focus and not be distracted by anything else. It’s about getting up early so that after work I can actually like enjoy my significant other or actually meet a friend for dinner. When you can get done in 5 hours what it takes someone a day to do, you are affording yourself a lot more time to actually … dare I say it, enjoy life!
This entrepreneur and work from home life is really not a game. Mental and physical wellness is extremely important in the process. I don’t work for myself full-time just yet, but I see it with the fact that in my full-time job I work from home. There are some days I am in here and don’t talk to a person for hours. Ha! Like that is really weird. So you definitely have to make important notes to take breaks, and give yourself a minute and go for a walk to get some fresh air and things like that.
Working and grinding till you die are not sexy. It’s so important that we keep sight of that. So many of us are striving and I want to be the constant reminder that goals are great, but nothing you can acquire will get back time with your children. Nothing that you can buy will get you more time with your parents. Experiencing things with the person you love is invaluable. Like these are some of the most important things in life.
And you may think, sure, this is why she may never achieve a certain level of success. And maybe not. But I will not give up my love. I will not give up my right to do ABSOLUTELY nothing if I choose to. I have to learn to be okay with that. I have to learn that no matter what my peers are up to, this is MY LIFE and however God sees fit for me to live is how it will be. God’s favor can turn 15 minutes worth of work into a lifetime of success.
So while you are team “no sleep,” and chasing Beyoncé’s 24 hours and all the other crap that people try to say to motivate you, I am becoming increasingly okay with the couple hours or God forbid a day that I don’t feel like doing anything. Can I tell you how much sick and vacation time I have? I NEVER freaking take days off unless it’s for something specific and I have to get out of that. It’s so refreshing to take a “personal health” day every now and again. And that is the perfect name for it. PERSONAL HEALTH! We have to take care of ourselves in this lifestyle. Again, maybe it’s just me, but I have really felt the pressure to always be on and it feels really nice to get past it.
We have all this unconscious pressure. For instance, when talking about journaling with writers, they often feel that there is this pressure to journal every single day and it quickly becomes a chore instead of an outlet for their writing and emotional stress. But it’s ALL IN YOUR HEAD. There are no journal police. It’s okay. I’m letting you know that the more productive you are in your time of work, the less guilty you will feel about taking some time to yourself.
Click to Tweet/// The more productive you are in work, the less guilty you will feel about taking time to yourself.
The grind and the work mean absolutely nothing if when you get to the top, you have alienated every person you ever loved and sacrificed your mental and physical health to get there. I know they say only people without money say things like this, hahaha, but there are indeed some things that money and success will never be able to buy you. I’ll be that cliché!
Tell me, have the “grind” and “hard work” become idols in your life? Have you felt the guilt from doing nothing while in pursuit of your dreams and goals? Leave a comment below!
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