Okay, so Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and it’s supposed to be this day that represents love that couldn’t be more generic. LOL. Do I sound like a fan or nah? In either case, I am not really big on Valentine’s Day. I think it’s cool whenever anything is a cause to spend some quality time with the one that you love, but the ugly baskets lining street corners and annoyingly pink everything can be a bit much for me. And I am NOT knocking you if you love it. Says the love advocate even though at the moment I just sound like a hater! Ha! So I wanted to do something a little different for this week’s Dear Love post as we head into V-Day.
Most often, all I hear from my friends is what they want for Valentine’s Day and I didn’t realize that it was such a one-sided celebration. If we are talking about true love, then this day should really be a day when both people in the relationship are celebrated. So, I had a few of my colleagues and guy friends come together to tell you what they really like to feel appreciated!
And sure you think throwing on your little lingerie is supposed to be their gift and yet … most of the responses I received said absolutely nothing about that! Remember, lazy love breeds lazy results. If you are not being thoughtful, how can you expect someone else to be? So unless you just know that’s what your man specifically likes, cool. But, V-Day is not just your day to be selfish ladies, that’s your birthday. Take a look below at what this awesome group of guys had to say about what makes them feel special from their counterparts. Our men need love too!
Kevin Carr, Author of What I've Learned About Dating
Valentine's Day is often made out to be a day that only women enjoy. However this isn't an accurate portrayal of what the day is meant to be about which I believe is a celebration of mutual love, commitment and adoration. So in that vein the day isn't about women or men for that matter. It's about thoughtfulness and a display of that thoughtfulness which is often illustrated in the form of gifts given and time spent.
Admittedly, I used to proudly refer to myself as someone who had no real need nor any desire to celebrate anything on February 14th. I wore my un-appreciation for the day like a badge of honor. Until one day, one person with one simple gesture changed my perception. She didn't drop any rose petals at my feet or make a huge scene. She simply handed me a card accompanied by a gallon of my favorite ice cream. That meant something to me. Most people laugh when I tell them that story. Those that do, don't understand its meaning. You see she captured the spirit of Valentine’s Day perfectly by making it about me and not her. Imagine if each of us intentionally focused on that approach. What a day it would be. Cheers to love.
Marquise Watson, The Romance Specialist.
So much could be said, as there are a ton of things women can do to make us fellas feel special.. I'll speak on an all encompassing practice which works wonders for me while leaning on the likelihood that other fellas would second the emotion. "You'd be surprised how erotic it is to be understood"
Ladies here is your easy way out, speak his love language. Made famous by Dr Gary Chapman are the 5 Love Languages... Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, and Acts of Service. We all communicate our love through these languages, but some are more pertinent than others. Take myself for example, I don't desire my lady to buy me gifts to make me feel good. Of course it's great whenever she does but that's not my major love language so if she spoke to me in that language while neglecting my Main Love Language which is Quality Time, I wouldn't feel as special.
So what's the trick? Speak ALL of the love languages. Take the quiz on 5lovelanguages.com and find out what your partner values the most and speak it to him accordingly. Emphasizing the most/more important languages but giving a steady dose of the others. This will keep him feeling special, feeling cared for, loved and cherished.
Dilemma, Music Producer
I do think Vday is a holiday for the women, but it's cool, I enjoy spoiling my queen and doing whatever I can do to keep a smile on her face when I can..
I guess what works for me are tokens of appreciation. Every man likes to feel like a king, like he is doing something right for a change, because we often hear what men are doing wrong all the time. Make a list, be specific about it so he knows thought went into it. Most men might not like gifts so, if you can cook, cook his favorite meal. If most men are like me then I'm private, so whatever my queen does she knows to do it when we are alone. It'll be easier for me to open up and receive whatever she is giving. Everything that you do should remind him why he is the luckiest person in the world.
It's an act of love, and love is a choice. So you have a choice to show what you want. Choose wisely depending on the level of your relationship. Just put some thought into it to make them feel loved, appreciated, and supported. Whatever that is, whatever it looks like, that's a great thing.
Things not to do: Don't be annoying and too bossy! Be on your best behavior or try. Try not to fight over little things like food, and what to do ... be flexible.
Talk to him like a king and he will act like a king
Devon Young, Writer www.coldknowledge.com.
Make no mistake about it, Valentine's Day is a holiday for women. It's the time for men to take pride in the woman they are dating and to show the world what makes his woman the Queen of his world. That's the reward we seek on Valentine's Day. But if a woman wants to make her man feel truly special on this day, then a simple gesture acknowledging he's doing it right is the way to go. It can be through a gift, through words or various other indications; it all depends on your partner. But at the end of the day, that one simple gesture will make a man feel worth more than all the riches in the world. Why is that the case? It's quite simple:
The person he loves most in this world truly appreciates him as much as he appreciates her; and she took the time out to show it on a very special day.
Dr. Dave Pulley, The Soul Mate Specialist
Valentine’s Day is a wonderful day to focus on Love and relationships. It is generally geared towards women, which is an arrangement that most men are accustomed to. However, relationships are about both give and take…balance. Reciprocally giving each other what they desire is a way to show Love and care.
So give a guy what he wants by paying attention to his interests. What is he most interested in? Take the highest of his three top interests and search for things with that theme. If for some reason these interests are unknown, then sports, cars and electronics are some general possibilities. Many men would appreciate a creatively sensual evening with sensual acts and activities that are new, exciting and either never done before or not often. This would help to create a fantasy for him that would be provided by you, his sweetheart.