Dear Love | When Love is Not Enough

Love should be enough to make you act right, love should be enough to know who’s off limits, and love should be enough to bring your A home at night in the infamous words of Halle Berry in Boomerang.
When Love is Not Enough

One thing I love about the fall is all the great television that comes back from hiatus. Ha! Being Mary Jane being one of them which kicked off the season premiere on Tuesday, Oct. 20. As usual, the show spawns so many thoughts and opinions when it comes to love and relationships. In a scene with Mary Jane and her brother, he tells her “You deserve more than the words I love you.” This got me thinking sadly about the idea of when love is not enough.

I say sadly because in my heart I feel like love should be enough. Love should be enough to make you act right, love should be enough to know who’s off limits, and love should be enough to bring your A home at night in the infamous words of Halle Berry in Boomerang. But ultimately I have experienced the moment when love isn’t enough.

You can LOVE someone and it not work out at the end of the day. So many people hate David’s character on the show, but I don’t for a second doubt that a “real life” David actually does love the person that they cause so much pain. First and foremost, so many of us are lost on what love truly is and who our example of love should be. So we move in the name of love but really have no idea what it entails. I will scream it until the cows come home that God is THEE example of love. We will never measure up to His love for us but we were made in His image and therefore created to love because He is love. That should be the goal, it’s the greatest of the things He asked us to do on this Earth. But we often get it screwed up and hearts get broken along the way.

We do foul things to the people that we love at times. And the love is sometimes not enough to heal the wounds. Love changes and though we may always have the love for a person as a human being, we can’t love them past their faults or self-destructive behavior or past the insecurities that they project on us and that really sucks. But ultimately maybe love is still enough because in those moments our love for ourselves has to outweigh the love we have for the dysfunction in our situations. Loving yourself enough to realize that who you love may indeed be toxic to your own well-being.

When we realize that love is not enough, we showcase the fact that love is indeed a choice and decision. You can no longer hide behind the empty words of “I love him or her,” because we can all agree that sometimes love is simply not enough. Not enough to justify a beating, not enough to justify infidelity, and not enough to justify any other wayward behavior. Love for God and yourself will always be enough to get you out of a less than savory situation.

Your love does not have the ability to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Your love does not have the ability to stop someone from doing things they have no business doing. Their love for themselves has to be enough to do that. Their love for God has to be enough to do that. Your love can encourage, support, and all that good stuff, but ultimately you will eventually have to come to a place of submission where you realize that your love cannot hold together what God may be trying to break apart.

Every separation is not the worst thing that can happen to you. At times it’s the best thing that could have happened to you and you have no idea. That takes trust in the process. That takes trust that God knows better for you than you know for yourself and that ain’t easy! I will be the first to tell you that. So I guess all these wandering thoughts are to say that even still maybe love is enough even when we think that it isn’t. God’s love is enough always, it never fails and it’s all that good stuff 1 Corinthians 13 talks about and will lead us to the love that’s best for us. Words, they are things, but just words, just saying “I love you will never be enough. Sometimes the actions aren’t either. Not in two people, but in God, love is enough?

Usually I have a lot more answers than questions for you all, but I wanted to think out loud and I hope that’s okay. This journey in love is fluid and I am in it with you. That’s for certain.

Does that make any kind of sense? HAHAHA. Did you check out Mary Jane this Tuesday? Does it make you think about love and relationships as much as it makes me think about it? 

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