DEAR LOVE | Remembering the Friendship

Even in my own experience, sometimes we will literally say to one another, remember, I am your friend.

People come together various different ways in relationships. But the couples that seem to be the most successful are those that say “We were friends first.” And sure maybe it wasn’t strictly platonic, you may have always had a thing for that person, but there was some point when nothing was too heavy and you got to know one another and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Friendship as the foundation to any relationship tends to be a solid base to help couples withstand all that may come their way as they venture into the realm of dating.

So often we put so much pressure on dating. We are wondering if this person may be the one, two dates in. But what if you just do your best to enjoy the other person’s company without all the pressures of where it’s leading? Of course you should have your expectations and intentions in the forefront, but you never know what it could grow into when you just allow yourself the freedom to really get to know that person first.

Laying this groundwork becomes essential years in. After you have been dating a while, things get serious and you may even possibly end up moving in together, it’s so important that you remember the friendship. Even in my own experience, sometimes we will literally say to one another, remember, I am your friend.

It gets really hard at times to remember that when you are dealing with careers, a household, etc. All the pieces of life can get in the way. We start treating our partner like a roommate, a hindrance or sometimes a flat out enemy. The friendship has to be present for you to always come back to.

I remember saying that I didn’t really get when people felt like their significant other was their best friend. I thought that they were just being annoying. LOL. But when you think about it, shouldn’t they be? They are the person that you spend the most time with. They have seen more than likely the best and the absolute worst sides of you and they’re crazy enough to continue loving you! That’s a great friend! Though I am close to my best female friend and to my mom, they still can’t replace the friendship of my significant other. It’s just different.

Remembering the friendship will get you through the times when you are contemplating whether you could actually get away with killing them. It helps keep things in perspective when you are flying off the handle about whatever choice annoyance for the week. It’s the key, in my estimation to longevity. The couples that I look up to, that I admire, that have stood the test of time, always seem like they remember the friendship and that’s what carries them through.

And funny enough, even when things don’t work out, a strong friendship is still telling. You don’t have to hate that person, you can genuinely wish them well. Of course after some of the hard feelings have settled. We are still human. But that friendship will reveal itself even sometimes through the demise and that’s how we should love. Full and wholeheartedly in the way that we love our friends.

Do you feel like your significant other is you best friend? How do you go about remembering the friendship part of your relationship? Tell me about it in the comments? 

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