It really just dawned on me how annoying it is when people ask if I am married this past weekend. While traveling alongside my BF, multiple people have asked me if we’re married. I feel like the lack of a ring on my left hand may be the first indicator. But I understand some people forgo the rings. But second, why does that seem to be the topic of conversation after the age of 25? I also find myself trying to figure out why exactly that matters so much to strangers?
In any event, the bottom line is that yes couples can be happily unmarried. Lol. It takes time to get everything together to move to the next level and quite honestly I have been a victim to the pressures of society and I am kind of tired of it. I have a loving, devoted relationship that I am certain is leading towards marriage, but the fact that there are all kinds of random pressures to rush that process is enough to make you start wondering “well what is wrong with me?” “Is this actually going to happen?” And to be honest that is so unfair.
I want to just encourage you all reading this to take your time and don’t think about how long you’ve been together or how old you are and just do your best to live in the moment. Yes I have had the conversations with girlfriends like “do you think this is the year?” blah blah, I’ve browsed through rings and the like, but I have ultimately come to the point where I am literally tired of thinking about it.
I’m not even into weddings at all, but I definitely do look forward to having that opportunity to say, “No, I’m his wife.” That holds weight in my book, but what I won’t do is drive myself absolutely nuts wondering and thinking about when it is going to happen. I am happy. He drives me nuts sometimes and I drive him loony, but the bottom line is, there is so much love there, so much laughter, and that’s some of the hardest stuff to find with another person after four years.
It has always been difficult for me to define things for myself. I put more pressure on myself sometimes than anyone else, but at any time we have the opportunity to say that enough is enough. I realize that it bothers me when people ask, because eventually I do want to say, yes we are. But I have to just let it come. Focus on God at the center of our relationship like we’ve been doing and trust his timing. Period.
So this post if for you out there, single or in long-term relationships and honestly for me too. Stop. Stop letting the world define your relationships, your life, where you should be at what age and honestly live for you. Because if you make a wrong decision, no one that was pushing you towards it is going to be there to help get you out. Make sure it’s right and most importantly, revel in the moments you share before things get more complicated and complex. As long as you and your partner have discussed and are on the same page about things, that’s all the truly matters.
A gentle reminder of another area to remember to run my own race. (My theme for the year.)
Do you ever feel the buildup or pressure about kids or marriage or where you are in your career? How do you handle it?